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Home After the War

by Glum and Grey

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1.
It's peaceful out here Lord knows I need this And I don't want to live like this anymore And I don't deserve to live like this anymore I need peace out here Lord knows I need this And I don't deserve to live like this anymore
2.
This here's a simple song to sing some words and right some wrongs and to tell you how I feel It might sound kinda stupid, it is kinda stupid, but that doesn't mean it's not worth singing Move along, fair-weathered friend, I'll be okay in the end, or stay, and I'll pretend not to give two shits And when you're feeling down, remember to frown, cuz that's just how life is sometimes. I think you'd look really great standin' by my side, but that's also kinda trivial and if you're scared, know I'm also scared, but all humans get scared, and we're kinda dumb about it So move along, fair-weathered friend, I'll be okay in the end, or stay, and I'll pretend not to give two shits And when you're feeling down, remember to frown, cuz that's just how life is sometimes [Whistle solo!!!] I'm a big cry baby with too much love in my heart and I always forget to keep things in perspective love is kinda stupid, and kisses are also kinda stupid, and I'm stupid for even writing this song about you So move along, fair-weathered friend I'll make myself okay in the end even though I'll really miss your company The future is untold, the past is getting old, and the present, well, I don't know what I expected.
3.
Interlude 1 00:12
4.
It's taking all my fucking self control to keep from pushing you away writing songs that sound as if you wrote them to keep my heart at bay it's a quarter to one on a Sunday night, and I'm sweatin' off the sleep tryna' make up rhymes to pass the time that I can hardly keep oh, won't you sing me to sleep My mind's a mess, my thought's a blur, and nothin' sounds too good, but I'm smokin' squares at 3am regardless of whether I should last Saturday, you were miles away, but you crept up on me fast I still pretend I'm just a good friend just to try to make it last oh, I don't think I'll last.
5.
Waitin' for you to come home who knew it'd take this long? Can't read the maps and road signs nearly right when you've got somebody to hold you tight Maybe we're just too young for our own good makin' messes just like we should maybe I'm just a mess, but you're cleanin' up the rest spring cleanin' at it's best Money spent on caffeine and that burnin' nicotine breathe you into my soul oh your lovin', sweet lovin' is all I know Maybe we're just too reckless for our own good makin' messes just like we should maybe I'm just a mess, but you're cleanin' up the rest spring cleanin' at it's best You scare me like the future does a boy like a candle does to night you flicker in and out of sight "you" is all I can write my heart won't bite, so Too bad you're just too damn careful for your own good runnin' away just like you think you should it's a shame you're lettin' go, fear's a friend, oh, don't you know didn't your father tell you so? Too bad we're just too young for our own good fallin' in love just like we should too bad I'm not really a mess just hard to read, so take a guess spring cleaning at it's best I'm trying my best
6.
Give It Time 03:45
Running off in the dark leaving us to guess your part driveway smokes at 4am wondering what we did again up and out and on the road we've got no place to go so we'll drive all the way to hell and back with nothing but our wits and the clothes on our backs Sitting down and freaking out learning what we're all about "I don't know and I don't care" won't get you anywhere you're asleep at the wheel trying hard to fucking feel like you're living the dominoes collapse, all the chains are broken some things are not better left unspoken We can't sleep until we're free Freedom ain't free You are not freedom to me Stomach twisted into knots vision blurred with blackened spots where could you fucking be? the answer is beyond me you were high, I was low now we're both just fucking slow so we cling to our dreams like real sensations while we kill our hearts with anticipations You are not freedom to me Freedom ain't free You are not freedom to me Waking up all alone you're still not home This is the waiting song I've waited all along So cut to the chase, don't waste my time The hours pass, but I'll be fine
7.
Interlude 2 00:21
8.
You are art you are art in my heart on the walls of my ventricals tear them down tear them down Let me in we can sin fuck me hard in the car we slept in please, don't go please, don't go I am happy finally let's clean up all the debris you can trust me life may be a game, but that doesn't mean our fates are all the same We are bad, and we are trying we are young, and we are crying we are scared, and we are dying to pretend we are broke, and we are healing we are sick, and we are feeling my head is reeling once again once again This is real, and we are alive you are electric inside what a way to decide what to say sex is good, the room is spinning this is just the beginning fuck life's game, we are winning oh, what a day what do you say? what do you say?
9.
To Be Honest 03:53
I scared you away but I want you to stay and why didn't you say that my words made you decay? We're buckled on bridges and hopes pretending that that's all she wrote I walked by your house filled with phantom kisses and doubts we're fading, we're going nowhere I could fix it, but who's supposed to care? I always do this. If I could've gotten you to speak, if I could've twisted those thoughts out of you then I know I could've worked my way out of this, but you wouldn't. And all along, I was trying to decide if it was okay to hold your hand or if you wanted me like I wanted you. But you wouldn't. You wouldn't look at me, you wouldn't talk, you wouldn't speak. You just stood there, and breathed, and waited. And by the time we reached the lake, bracing the fresh water winds, standing in the silence, drowning with the tides, I knew I wanted to jump for you. I scared you away, but do you think you could stay?
10.
You heard my voice when no one else would and I'm scared to death you sang me to sleep when the spout of my lullabies ran dry oh, I hate goodbyes Throwin' stones at broken dreams are you really as lovely as you seem? I can't find a way to say I hope it's you who stays And when the lights go out, will it be you and me? Oh, we'll see I am petrified of living with or without your love Oh, soul searcher, I think you've found me Oh, I can't sleep Please don't hate me I know all the secrets you tell Here I go, diving for quarters in wishing wells Oh, I know you stranger no longer a stranger not to you, and not to me damaged goods no real human should keep To the alien, from the freak: thank you for hearing me.
11.
Interlude 3 00:09
12.
Now I lay me down to sleep and I pray the Lord my soul do not keep cuz every time I close my eyes, I see you smile and I wouldn't mind not waking up for a while I lose my mind every time I know I try too hard and I'm wasting life just sitting by and falling apart I wonder why I can't decide if I should stay don't be surprised when I don't believe you when you say it'll be okay To think of you, it makes me blue, and I'm going insane and I'm sick and tired, I'm sick and tired of the same old thing It's hard to eat, it's hard to sleep, and I know you're why don't be surprised when I don't believe you when you say it's not goodbye Oh Lord, you're why I'm wishing on Lakeshore Drive Oh, Lord, don't wake me this time.

about

This is a collection of songs I wrote during the year I lived in Chicago. When I moved there, I left behind the pain of the past and focused on the hope of my future in the city. This album is about love, and sadness, and change.

credits

released November 22, 2016

HUGE thanks to Hippy Hollow for recording my music and for providing me with a beautiful space and a beautiful crowd.

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all rights reserved

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about

The Uncertainty Index Chicago, Illinois

I have written many songs in my lifetime. None of them were written with any stability. I was always different when I created each album.

And so, each album is written by a different version of myself. One person. Much music. Many identities.

Enjoy the index of my life. May all intrigue and comfort you.
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